Vol. 1 | Chapter Three: The Capital Ablaze (iv)

Giv was walking along a long, spacious underground aqueduct that led outside the city…

CONTINUE READING

Notes under the cut:

Giv is really fun to translate, but also kind of annoying, because of all the characters so far he’s the one who puts on most of a front (and in fact switches on and off depending on who he’s talking to). LOL.

It’s incredibly tempting to go all-out slangy with him sometimes, even though the actual differences in tone aren’t quite that exaggerated in the original.

But:

1. “yer” — To this woman he has no need of impressing, Giv drawls his “you” (あんた anta instead of the more proper anata). It’s always interesting to me to note how characters refer to themselves and to others under different situations, and I don’t think he’s actually had a chance to use pronouns until now. I didn’t want to overdo it though.

2. eyes glowing red — I’m not actually sure if this is a dramatic anime-esque stylization or if we’re meant to be taking this as a hint or something.

3. “kept man” — His original wording’s not that direct, but it’s not exactly like he’s holding back either. What he says here actually echoes a phrasing the narrative used earlier in the chapter (and which I translated, not very literally, as something like “wrung every last drop from her”). Either way, sponging off pretty women is his modus operandi.

4. “ladykiller” (色男/iro-otoko) — in the womanizing playboy sense, not literally, but I figured it was fitting given the context. Or is the context distracting? Sigh. (Confession: I almost went with “Hey sexy, let me check you out,” just for rule of funny. Which is actually closer to the way the Chinese translation took it, but I felt the Japanese had more of a “you perve” connotation.)

5. I should probably note that I’ve been translating out instances of “……..” (of which this update had more than usual), which may be stylistically acceptable in Japanese but really isn’t in English, as much as I sometimes wish it were.

– – –

I am now officially out of drafted buffer! Since November and December tend to be busy months for me, I’m not sure when the next update will be. The next two scenes are relatively short, and I’d like to make some headway into the next chapter by the end of the year, but no promises!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Vol. 1 | Chapter Three: The Capital Ablaze (iv)

  1. M.A.KH says:

    eyes glowing red usually used to indicates that the mentioned person is very angry.
    Best Wishes
    M.A.KH

  2. Ruhan says:

    Keep translating, please!

  3. Diogenes says:

    I have spent the last few days reading this whenever I had time. Oh, was I disappointed when I hit the end of the translations!
    Your ability to translate and return a measure of beauty to the prose are truly impressive.
    I have been enjoying your work, and hope you continue, purely for selfish reasons. It would be a shame if you were outpaced by the manga scanlations.

    • T. E. Waters says:

      Aww, thanks! I was definitely hoping to stay ahead of scanlations at first, but the manga pacing is FAST. Arakawa’s been covering anywhere from 5k-10k words’ worth of prose per release — I remember being really dismayed when she only took 3 installments to cover the entire first chapter of the book (and that was with padding/filler on her end!), LOL. Well, different mediums and all that, I guess.

      That said, it’s not that it isn’t doable — I have a fairly streamlined process and each of my updates only takes me a couple hours, so I could probably put out one a week — but it takes time away from things I do for a living. 😦 Updates will probably have to wait until I’ve got some of my other projects out of the way.

      • Claudia says:

        I also think you are doing a wicked good job! Don’t forget Arakawa may have a whole team working with her to help 😉 Also, as in Fullmetal, these are themes she’s definitely worked with before and excelled at. Now, she has a script provided for her and all (also thanks to the OVA I guess) so that makes the action even faster paced. But knowing her, she’ll come back on missed details later on for added suspense when the time is right. An image is worth a thousand words. You are doing so well. I agree how well you translate and keep the prose going, along with each character’s own manner of speech.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s